3 Reasons I ALWAYS Respond to Negative Comments Online (Real Life Examples!) - XO, Tara Wagner

Words By Tara Wagner

3 Reasons I ALWAYS Respond to Negative Comments Online (Real Life Examples!)

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There are 3 reasons I ALWAYS respond to rude or negative comments – let me share some real-life examples and explain why this is so important to me.

Watch here or read on below.

3 Reasons I ALWAYS Respond to Negative Comments Online (Real Life Examples!) Click To Tweet

Welcome back, bosses! I did a video a while back on how to reply to rude comments or negative comments online. So today I want to talk to you about why I, just about always, respond to negative comments.

I’m actually going to share some real-life examples of comments that I’ve received, some of them have been really nasty, so stay tuned for that – that’s going to be fun, and really explain to you why I’m replying back to them. There are three different reasons, so let’s get into those.

picture of a graph
Reason #1 – The algorithm

The first reason is that negative feedback whether it’s a dislike or a comment is still great for your algorithm.

So I’ve actually got a few different examples of ones that I left on my channel despite the fact that they were just kind of rude, nasty, negative comments because their comment, especially the length of their comment, is really good for engagement metrics in platforms like YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, or whatever it is that you’re using.

The more engagement that you get, even negative engagement, even a conversation back and forth, the better it is for the views or the momentum behind that piece of content.

So, let me give you an example, this lovely gentleman decided to comment with:

“Reached out plus tattoos equals not someone to listen to. Hipster d-bag wannabe guru nothing more. OMG, I just noticed you said find closure about 2020. Unreal.”

This cracks me up “By the way, dinosaurs didn’t have coaches but these people or teams did need I continue and look at how that turned out.” That was in reply to a letter board that I had that said “Dinosaurs didn’t have coaches and look how that turned out”. He was also pointing out that other people had coaches and it didn’t turn out well, which is hilarious because he didn’t mention all the really amazing teams or people that did have coaches and it worked out really well for them but whatever.

So most people would delete this, right? It’s calling me a hipster d-bag wannabe guru. A lot of people would be really triggered by that. I could have been if that hit me on the wrong day, I could have been really upset, but to me, it was like oh awesome this is a really long comment thank you for the algorithm boost so I commented back.

“Thank you for your comment it helps tremendously in the algorithm especially when it’s this long”

He didn’t say anything else.

Okay, here’s another example of this:

“What an awful video. I’ve seen some terrible videos before, but this one is possibly the worst.”

I didn’t take a screenshot of which video this was about, I think it was like one of my most popular videos that everybody loves, but you can’t win them all right?

Let me just say in the video How To Respond to a Comment, this is not an example of that… this was me like, kind of in a snarky mood and just feeling like I wanted to be snarky back. So I said “Thank you! I’m so glad you wasted your precious time letting me know! It really helps me out in the algorithm when you comment. Plus I love criticism from strangers it’s always the most constructive!

Now this actually comes off really snarky and a little bit like I was upset or offended and I wasn’t – I was actually laughing when I wrote this, but it doesn’t come off like that.

I probably should have added some emojis or something to convey how I actually felt about it, because again like I’m grateful for these things they are helping me out.

Alright, the third one:

“Why do today’s women need to have piercings and tattoos? It’s NOT attractive.”

To which I replied, “Good thing my husband disagrees. My question to you would be why are you worried about my attractiveness? Is that what you clicked on this video for? And is that a helpful use of your precious time?

So with this one, it was less about being funny and I was really just trying to convey a point to them. Like “you know what, it’s cool if you don’t like it, but what are you here for?

Tara talking to a group of women around a table in a coffee shop
REASON #2 – Onlookers

The second reason that I always reply to negative comments is not just for me, but it’s also for onlookers.

So there’s two things that are gonna happen:

#1 – If somebody sees that you reply to all your comments, not just negative ones, they’re less likely to leave you a negative comment because they know that there’s a real person on the other side of that and they’re likely to get a response and most people when they’re faced with that are going to shy away from it.

#2 – But the onlookers that I’m really concerned about are the people reading it who are reading either that negative comment and taking it to heart or they’re reading it and wondering how I’m going to reply.

So a great example of this actually came on a Facebook ad, I was doing an ad, and it was a free offer and it was a real legitimate training that really helped people, but her reply was “Gross, I hate marketing, why are you doing this?

Now this was coming from a business owner who needs to be marketing themselves, but it was coming from this place of like, “how dare you market, how dare you put this stuff out there, you know you’re just another like fake person trying to rip people off

In that comment, the only part that I screenshot of it was a graphic that she added that said “I’d rather s*** in my hands and clap”… yeah.

My concern was that my target audience is business owners, right? Small business owners, she was a small business owner herself but she was essentially saying “small business owners should not be promoting themselves, this is gross“. My concern was women who see that (particularly women, but men as well) business owners who see that and then think “Oh my gosh, people think that?! Are people gonna think that when I go out and I try to market?

So I wanted to reply, not just for her, but for the people who would take what she was saying to heart. so a little bit of a clip of what I said:

“I totally understand how easy it is to get burned out in the coaching industry. There’s a lot of crap out there it’s helpful if it’s helpful to know I’ve been coaching for 10 years my first focus blah blah blah blah…”

I was basically just validating the fact that she had concerns and I understood those concerns and I was sharing a little bit about my experience so that she could feel a little bit more comfortable but also so onlookers could understand a little bit more about my experience and feel more comfortable.

The most important part of this comment was this (for her, but also for those onlookers):

You know what I think is craziest of all? Women criticizing another woman for anything she does to try to make the world a little better or provide for herself and her family. So many of the business owners I coach are struggling with the fear of getting comments just like this one. ‘What will people say if I try to be successful doing something I love?’ Do you feel good contributing to the success gap or the confidence gap between men and women? Is this bringing fulfillment and joy to your life and is it worth your time? I’m sure you have important things to do, people to love, and people to serve. Is tearing down others really helpful?

Again the point of this was not just for her but for other people as well and I wish that I had taken the screenshot afterwards because she deleted her comment but before she did I had a ton of reactions to my comment, hearts and likes from other onlookers who were appreciating that reply

Woman working on silver Apple laptop
Reason #3 – Showing up to serve

The third reason that I always reply to negative comments is that I believe that business owners have a responsibility to show up to serve.

And just because somebody leaves you a negative comment doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not there to also serve them. A great example of this is a comment that was left on a video that I did on Money Blocks and this guy said “This is a worthless video” and I just replied with “Thank you for letting me know”, because what else do I reply to that with? And then he replied back with a really legitimate concern.

Here’s what I try to really impart to people: everybody who’s leaving a comment, it’s about THEM.

It’s about what they’re going through, what they’re struggling with, and if you open up that conversation sometimes it can lead to a deeper conversation, more communication, and more growth or more support for either that person or again for those onlookers.

So this guy, he just replied with “you know what, these are real struggles and this didn’t solve my problem but I’m really struggling with this and I need this kind of help“.

Through that, I was able to say, “you know what, I totally understand it one video cannot solve all those problems but I do want to encourage you.” And again I didn’t get all of it but we had multiple back and forth where it was just kind of a coming together, instead of feeling like we were butting heads, it was more of this conversation of like, yeah this stuff is hard and it takes time but you can definitely do this. Again you’re in business to serve your clients and customers even when it’s hard and that means respecting where they’re coming from even if they’re not coming from a very good place.

Woman looking at herself in a piece from a broken mirror
Reminder: It’s not about you

So here’s the thing about negative comments, here’s the thing I really want you to take away from this somebody else’s negative comment is not about you.

It’s about how they’re feeling, it’s about what they’re doing with what it is that you’re saying, it’s about what they’re going through, the bad day that they’re having. But in order for you to not feel triggered by negative comments you also need to remember that positive comments are not about you either they’re about the day that somebody else is having, what they’re doing with the content that you’re putting out, what they’re going through and how they’re feeling.

The only thing you can ever be is a catalyst for someone else, so what kind of catalyst do you want to be?

The snarky one that gets defensive or gets offended when somebody comments negatively, yeah it’s going to happen sometimes but is that the goal? Or do you want to be the kind one, the compassionate one, the one that shows up to serve and that hopefully can turn these comments around into something else?

It’s much easier to cancel someone than it is to connect with someone but only one of those options is going to lead to the real and sustainable change we see in the world.

If you’re putting things out online, guess what? You have a responsibility to show up to serve, to connect, to listen, and to try to understand what that other person is going through so that hopefully you can help them. This doesn’t mean not having boundaries, this doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to delete a comment that’s really nasty. You have the ability to draw that line wherever you want to draw that line.

What I’m encouraging you to do, is learn how to push that line a little bit further so that you can allow more people in so that you can support, connect, nurture, and help change this world.

become a breakthrough boss in the inner circle

 If this is something that you struggle with, not getting triggered when somebody leaves a negative comment, or not getting thrown off your A-game when those comments come in, or being so worried and so nervous that they’re going to happen that you’re not taking the actions that you need to take…

First of all, I want you to know you’re not alone, you’re not crazy, you’re human and these are challenging things that we get to develop in ourselves.

But I also want to encourage you to check out the Breakthrough Boss Inner Circle because this is where entrepreneurs learn how to overcome the blocks, overcome the fears, build the confidence, build the motivation, the energy, and the forward movement so that they can crush their goals, not their soul.

You can learn more about it here.

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Grab my free training Bottlenecks to Breakthroughs. In this free training, you’ll learn the ONLY 5 things you need to master to:

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  • Handle conflict, challenges, procrastination, money blocks, and more so that you feel confident and unshakable on your path
  • Upgrade the way you think, feel, and act in order to uplevel your life and business and be the Boss Lady you’re ready to be

This is the exact process I’ve used with hundreds of clients to help them overcome their bottlenecks and break through to the next level of success! My gift to you.

Learn more here or grab it back clicking the button below.

What about you, boss lady?

What’s one negative comment you’ve gotten on social? Did you reply or delete?

Scroll down to leave your comments below.

xoTara-teal

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