Words by Tara Wagner
10 Signs of a Self-Confident Woman
In this blog, I am sharing 10 signs of a self-confident woman, including some things that confident people don’t do.
Watch here or read below.
Today we are talking about confidence, specifically, the signs that I have seen both in myself, in my own journey from crippling self-doubt to really just liking myself and approving of what I’m doing, as well as what I’ve seen in my clients as they’ve made that same journey.
This isn’t an exhaustive list, but it is the things that I’ve seen over and over.
What I want you to do in the comments is to write out the number 1 – 10, and I’m going to have you take notes on whether or not you’re “nailing it”, “working on it”, or maybe “totally flopping” right now.
The reason that I want you to do this actually ties into the first of these 10 signs
Sign #1: She Admits Her Weaknesses And Her Mistakes
One of the first signs of a self-confident woman is that she’s not afraid to admit both her mistakes and her weaknesses.
Self-confidence is really about liking yourself and approving of yourself. If you like and approve of yourself you’re not going to worry about making a mistake or doing something wrong because you know that it doesn’t make who you are wrong.
Sign #2: She Takes Care Of Herself
Number two, she takes care of herself and she does it without apologizing and without justifying her actions or her needs.
A confident woman knows that her needs are legitimate and that she has value and worth, and that it’s okay to take time out for herself every single day, every single week, and maybe even every single month or every quarter to meet those needs.
And because she knows that she is inherently worthy and inherently valuable, she feels no need to justify that to other people or explain or apologize to people as to why she can’t do what they want her to do because she needs to first take care of herself.
Sign #3: She Says “I Don’t Know” With Ease
Number three, she doesn’t feel awkward about saying “I don’t know.”
This comes from my own personal experiences. I used to have such a hard time not having all of the answers and feeling like to be worthy or to be good enough I had to know everything.
But you know what? A lack of knowledge doesn’t indicate a lack of self-worth.
It’s impossible for any of us to know everything, or to have our hands in everything, or to have read every book, or to know every person out there.
It’s actually okay for us to say “I don’t know.”
When you’re confident in yourself and you know your self-worth, you don’t feel uncomfortable saying that anymore. Because, again, you know that a lack of knowledge or experience with something doesn’t correlate to your self-worth.
Sign #4: She’ll Go Places Without Makeup
Number four, she will go places without makeup on.
I think that’s about all I have to say about that one. 😂
Sign #5 of a confident woman: She Laughs At Herself
Number five is she laughs at herself.
She doesn’t take herself too seriously because she’s not sitting here criticizing and analyzing every stinking thing she is doing.
So when she doesn’t know something, or when she has a weakness, or when she makes a mistake, or when she goes to the grocery store without makeup on and runs into the most influential person she could ever want to meet, she can laugh about it because she knows that it’s really not that big of a deal. And, again, it doesn’t relate to who she is.
Sign #6: She Doesn’t Care What Others Think
Number six, and this is a biggie and it takes a lot of time and practice to get here, but she doesn’t care what other people think.
Now, this doesn’t mean that she doesn’t value their opinions or that other people don’t matter; she just knows that the first thing that matters is what she thinks of herself, and if she’s loving and approving of herself, she no longer needs other people to love and approve of her.
You will know that you love and approve of yourself by how much validation you’re looking for in your likes, in your comments, and in the praise that you’re getting from other people.
If you love what you’re doing, you believe in yourself, and you feel good about who you are, you’re no longer going to worry about the people who may not view you the same way because you don’t need them to anymore.
Sign #7: She Doesn’t Talk Smack
The seventh sign of a confident woman is that she will not criticize or gossip about other women.
In fact, she will usually even stop it from happening in her presence.
This is because if you feel good about who you are, you have no desire to tear other people down.
It’s only hurting people that hurt people. And, likewise, it is only self-critical people that criticize others.
Sign #8 of a confident woman: She Lifts Others Up
Sign #7 ties into sign #8, which is if she’s not tearing people down it’s because she’s busy lifting others up.
This is because when you feel good about who you are, you’re no longer intimidated by the power, success, or the brightness of other people, in fact, you love it!
I have seen this time and time again in women who have gone from self-doubt or self-criticism to love and approval of who they are. They take others with them. They’re excited, there’s so much love, light, and joy on their face, and they are encouraging others to do the same thing, to take the same path that they took.
Sign #9: She Treats Others With Respect
And #8 also kind of leads into #9, which is she is treating other people with respect, even if they may not deserve it based on their own bad behavior at that moment.
Now, this doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have boundaries; homegirl has boundaries, but when you like yourself, trust me, you don’t let anybody else harm you if you’re not harming you first.
But even if somebody is disrespecting you, you still have self-respect, and so you’re treating other people how you might want to be treated if you were having a really bad day, or acting out, or lashing out at somebody, knowing that they’re still humans, they’re going to make mistakes too.
You can have those boundaries and still be respectful to other people.
You’re doing this as much for yourself as you are for them. Because a person with self-respect wants to treat others kindly because of who they are, not because of who someone else is.
This means that when you love yourself and you know that you’re good enough, but somebody else comes up and tries to treat you as though you’re not, if you’re not still holding on to that place inside of yourself that says, “I might not be good enough,” their behavior is not going to bother you because you no longer have that sore spot. They can’t push something that doesn’t exist.
And when they try, because it doesn’t exist, you don’t feel the need to defend that or protect that sore spot because it’s not there anymore.
You love yourself! You think you’re amazing! You don’t have a big ego, you know you have weaknesses, you know you make mistakes, you know you don’t know everything, but you still like who you are and what you’re here to do or what you’re about.
So somebody that comes along and they’re being a total butthole to you, it’s not going to bother you that much, you’re going to be like, “Okay, go on with your bad day.” It’s just not going to be the thing that throws you off because they can only trigger you, again, if you hold a trigger.
Sign #10: She Realizes She Won’t Always Feel Confident
Okay, I know I’m kind of up on my soapbox so let me come down just a little tiny bit and share with you the 10th sign of a self-confident woman.
She realizes that she won’t always feel confident, and she won’t always feel happy, and she might not always like everything she’s doing, and she might have moments where she’s criticizing herself, but that says nothing about WHO SHE IS.
And here’s what I mean by this:
You’re going to have bad days because you’re human. But in the back of your mind, if you’re truly in a healthy place, if you’re truly loving and approving of yourself, you’re always going to know that this is a bad day, not a bad life; that this is a bad moment, not a bad person.
Because when you really love yourself, you know that you’re still going to be human and you approve and love of that aspect too.
If you want to start the process (or maybe even just smooth and improve the process) of personal growth, of getting from that place of self-doubt to self-confidence, I want you to grab my Bottlenecks to Breakthroughs training.
It’ll outline my exact Belief Breakthrough Process and show you the only five things you need to address to start doing things like gaining confidence.
It’s absolutely free, and you can get it by clicking the button below or clicking here for more details!
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About the Author
I’m the breakthrough coach for self-employed women who are barely surviving their business. I help you to identify and overcome your old habits – both practical, as well as emotional and mental – learn a better way of approaching the work/life/family juggling act, and gain confidence in your new role in your growing businesses. Learn more about me here.
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