Words By Tara Wagner

STOP CARING About Follow Unfollow on Instagram!

Tara leaning on desk in scrolling through phone

If the follow unfollow Instagram method drives you crazyfrustrates youmakes you all cranky pants, or it just makes Instagram no fun for you at all, this blog is for you.

I have a perspective shift that has helped me to not feel frustrated and not drain my energy when I show up on Instagram, and I think it will help you too.

Watch here or read below

STOP CARING About Follow Unfollow on Instagram! Share on X

This blog is gonna be a bit of a loving smackdown, emphasis on the loving part.

Because I really do get it. I have totally been there, frustrated AF over my fluctuating numbers, and I understand, I know what you’re going through.

It can feel very frustrating but it shouldn’t, it doesn’t need to, and I don’t want you to spend one more iota of energy on things that don’t matter in your business.

There is nothing helpful about watching our numbers go up and down on Instagram.

Really what this does is just impact how we’re gonna show up, how we’re gonna engage with new followers, how we’re gonna engage with our current followers, and just in general how we’re gonna feel about the whole process.

Our focus creates our mindset

Our focus creates our mindset so where we put our time and energy is going to create how we feel about what we are doing or how much energy we have to invest in something. (Tara Wagner) Share on X

This is why this is so important to stop caring about the follow unfollow method on Instagram.

Even if you don’t like it, even if you’ll never do it for yourself, stop stressing about it. Stop allowing this thing that happens, this follow unfollow Instagram strategy that you don’t like, to impact how you want to show up and how you want to feel with the people who are authentically there to engage with you.

STOP paying attention to the number of followers you have and START paying attention to the people who are liking your posts, that are commenting your posts, that are sending you DMs because those are your people, and they deserve 100% of your energy.

If we’re spending our energy on the wrong people, the wrong things, we’re stealing it from the people that deserve it the most.

So how do we stop caring?

woman looking on her phone pictured through window

If we're spending our energy on the wrong people, the wrong things, we're stealing it from the people that deserve it the most. (Tara Wagner) Share on X

Step number one is to uninstall those unfollow apps; the apps that tell you who’s following and unfollowing you.

Why do we even need to see this?

Again, that puts the focus on the people who weren’t a good fit for you and it takes it off the people who are a good fit, the ones that you want to be spending your time and energy on.

Don’t waste 60 seconds of your day looking at whose unfollowing you.

Spend your time and energy on the people who are engaging with you because those are your people.


Step number two is to understand what your thoughts and emotions are telling you about YOUR needs and beliefs.

Every thought and emotion is trying to convey to you something that you’re needing or even some belief that you have.

This is what creates your thoughts and emotions around things, even what creates our opinions.

When you can start to look beneath the surface of your thoughts and your emotions, you can start to understand the underlining beliefs and any needs that you can address.

Once you address the beliefs and the needs, the thoughts and emotions start to change organically and without as much effort.

So instead of trying to change the way you feel (about the follow unfollow method) and start meeting your needs, start addressing those beliefs so that you always feel good.

Japanese woman working on a laptop
Japanese woman working on a laptop


And then number three, and this is the one that has been my saving grace that totally shifted everything for me, and that is to adopt a new mindset.

There’s actually three things that I want you to look at here:

First: It Doesn’t Actually Matter

There are a lot of metrics that matter in a successful business. But the fluctuation of your follower account does not pay your bills.

There are a lot of metrics that matter in a successful business. But the fluctuation of your follower account does not pay your bills. (Tara Wagner) Share on X

Drop me a comment below with “bills” if you agree.

Second: Choose To View The People That Are Utilizing The Strategy With Friendly Compassion

We’re all doing the best we can with the tools or the knowledge we have.

Every entrepreneur is going to experiment, they’re going to try new things, they’re going to try to save time, they’re going try to do what they can based on the tools or the skills or the knowledge that they have.

When we can view another entrepreneur with just friendly compassion, like:

“Hey, sista, I know you’re testing some stuff out, not really for me but that’s okay, you do you, I’ll do me.”

What that does is free us up emotionally, we’re no longer focusing on something that’s just going to frustrate us and create a bigger divide between us.

We do not need that, especially female entrepreneurs; we do not need to be hating on each other, because we’re all doing the best that we can.

So view these people with friendly compassion and just allow yourself to let it go.

Third: Choose To View These Follows As An Introduction

Choose to view these new follows, not as a strategy to gain their numbers, but as a strategy to make an introduction.

In a day and age where Instagram’s algorithm can be a real bitch, people are using the follow unfollow Instagram method as a way of saying “Hello, am I for you?” Or maybe “Hello, are you for me?”

When I started to view it through that lens, it allowed me to realize that I might actually find some people that I really like, that really are for me, or I might find some people that aren’t, and that’s okay. I can say hello and goodbye.

If I follow them and they choose to unfollow me, good, that means they weren’t my people and I don’t want people who aren’t my people on my Instagram dragging down my engagement rate because they don’t actually want to see what I’m putting out there.

And the same goes for you.

The right people are the people who are engaging, not just following.

Your follower count means nothing. Your engagement is where it’s at.

Your follower count means nothing. Your engagement is where it's at. (Tara Wagner) Share on X

Wherever you can connect with people, that’s where it’s at. That’s where our time and energy needs to go.

So these new follows are “Hello, maybe you’re a good fit, maybe you’re not a good fit, maybe we’re a good fit for each other. And if not, goodbye,” and that’s all that is.

Again, the point here is not to say whether the follow unfollow Instagram method is a good strategy or if people should use it.

That’s beyond the point.

There’s a quote by a Rumi that says:

Out beyond the ideas of rightdoing and wrongdoing is a field, I’ll meet you there.(Rumi)

That’s what I’m talking about her.

I’m talking about moving beyond all of that and getting into a field where we can play a really good game; where we can feel amazing, where we can show up in the best way possible, where we can create success in our business without getting dragged into the cat and dog fight that other people want to get dragged into.

Don’t waste your time and energy on that.

You are freaking amazing. What you are doing and putting out into the world is freaking amazing, but it’s not for everybody and every strategy that everybody else tries is not going to be for you.

So again, they do them, you do you. But you feel good while you’re doing it.

Let go of anything that is dragging your energy down or taking you in a direction that is not helpful or useful in your business or in your


I want you to grab my free Bottlenecks to Breakthroughtraining which will teach you how to uplevel your mindset so that you can start upleveling your business.

You can grab it for free by clicking the button below or by clicking here to learn more!


Leave a comment and let me know how you feel about follow unfollow Instagram strategy, and how you WANT to feel instead.

Scroll down to leave a comment


Love it? Share it?

*This post may contain affiliate links and I may earn a small commission when you click on the links at no additional cost to you. You can read my full disclaimer here.
start here
How to Upgrade Your Business So It Doesn't Burn You Out (3 Mistakes to Correct Right Now)

You need a better approach.

Let me show you mine...

The Breakthrough Roadmap

How to upgrade your business so it doesn't burn you out

Attend this free training to learn the 3 mistakes small business owners are encouraged to make, and my Roadmap to create full-time profits without burning out.

P.S. This class has important takeaways for ALL entrepreneurs, from pre-launch to 6+ figures. It’s where I recommend everyone start to get to know me and ensure I’m the right mentor for you. Grab a seat now!

Wanna hear when fresh posts land?

Leave a Comment

Picture of Tara Wagner

Tara Wagner

I’m Tara Wagner, creator of the Breakthrough Boss®. I help small biz owners overcome burnout and create part-time schedules with full-time profits. Not with some new marketing strategy, but with a holistic approach to how you operate.
Let's Connect On

Wanna hear when fresh posts land?

*Make sure your email is real + correct to receive your updates via your inbox!

By submitting your info, you’re agreeing to my Privacy Policy. I will never share your info in any way (I hate that too), and you may opt-out at any time.

Get the Bottlenecks to Breakthroughs Training

How female entrepreneurs can overcome the limiting beliefs, fears, and obstacles holding them back from success

Get it sent directly to your email.

*Make sure your email is real + correct to receive your free guide delivered to your inbox!

(Privacy Policy: Your Info is 100% Secure and Never, Ever Shared. Cuz I hate spam too.)


How To Upgrade
Your Business So It
Doesn't Burn You Out

(3 Mistakes to Correct Right Now)

How to Upgrade Your Business So It Doesn't Burn You Out (3 Mistakes to Correct Right Now)

🚫 Spending hours per week creating content?

👆 Click to learn how! 👆