What is work life balance, and why is it mostly women talking about it? That’s what we’re going to cover in the video today.
What’s happening, Boss Lady? My name is Tara Wagner, your breakthrough coach, helping you to get it done but feel great doing it.
In this video, I want to talk to you about this little thing called work life balance.
What it is, what it isn’t, and if you stick around to the very end, I will show you what you should be shooting for instead, with a few little mindset shifts.
Watch here or read below.
WHAT IS WORK LIFE BALANCE?
It seems to be this false idea that we all have that all the things in our life or our business need equal time, energy and attention and it’s your job, ladies, I’m speaking specifically to you, to ensure that it all gets handled.
It also seems to be a narrative spoken primarily by women.
Literally, when was the last time you heard a man talking about trying to juggle it all?
There are so many falsehoods wrapped up in this idea that are burying some very real and useful and helpful topics that we should be focusing on instead.
I’m going to get to that in just a second.
First, I want to say, work life balance is not about the time in your week being equally distributed. It’s definitely not about one week looking like the next. It’s certainly not about you being all things to all people, all the time, and managing it all yourself.
Here’s my theory on where this narrative comes from.
During the women’s rights movement, as we were trying to attain the right to be educated or to have careers, we were still living in an environment dominated by the needs and the demands put on us by our culture.
As we tried to have careers and goals of our own, we forgot to examine our people-pleasing tendencies. When the backlash came that told us that our homes are going to fall apart if we weren’t there, we scrambled to say no, I can juggle it all. I am woman, hear me take care of everything.
Basically, we failed to realize that in order for things to change, things had to change.
We couldn’t or shouldn’t keep doing the same things, at least not in the same ways.
In order to make room for something new, we get to let go of something old.
Now, obviously, no one wants to neglect the important things in their life. Their health and their family. In order to do that, we get to take a very realistic view on where we’re spending our time and our energy.
Most of the time when I’m working with clients who’re struggling with this, it’s because they’re taking on things that don’t matter. They’re focused on having an Instagram-worthy home, or they’re taking on opportunities that aren’t the right fit.
We really get to look at and examine and understand what’s going to serve us, and what’s not.
Now, let’s get into two mindset shifts that are going to allow you to change your perspective.
MINDSET SHIFT #1 – FOCUS ON NEEDS
Mindset shift number 1 is to focus on NEEDS.
You see, the word “balance” gives the impression of evenly weighed out scales.
This makes us think of things in terms of time or energy or money that we’re spending, versus the actual needs of that person or thing in our lives.
Everything or every person in our lives has needs. Some of them are our responsibility, and some of them are not. And many of them are much more flexible than we give them credit for.
Our job is to identify the actual needs, then identify whose responsibility they actually are, in order to identify strategies to meet those needs as or before they arise.
As you’re focusing on needs, you also get to remember how to prioritize them.
Not all needs are created equal. A lot of times, we feel spread thin because we feel like everything needs to be taken care of.
The truth of the matter is, only some things are important. Other things can honestly wait, or completely be ignored. That’s okay too, sometimes.
I talked more about how to find and prioritize the right things in your life in a recent post on time blocking strategies. Be sure to check that out.
For now, remember that as your needs get met, a sense of balance is experienced. Except, it’s not really balance.
MINDSET SHIFT #2 – FOCUS ON HARMONY INSTEAD OF BALANCE
Mindset shift number two is to focus on harmony instead of balance.
I learned this from one of my favorite people, Lisa Nichols.
When our needs are being met, what we really experience is a sense of harmony, of things flowing and all of the moving parts and pieces moving together.
I also want to remind you that sometimes, in order to see this harmony, we need to zoom out a little bit.
What I mean by this is, there will be times in your life or in your business, when you’re spending more time in one area.
For instance, if you are in a growth stage of your business, it’s probably going to take some more time and some more energy from you than you would otherwise prefer that it did.
Again, if you’re focusing on making sure everybody’s needs are being met, then those things are okay. Your family, your loved ones, yourself, you’re going to understand that there’s a season and a time for everything, and that going through a short period of imbalance is actually going to be okay because of the balance that’s going to be able to create in later weeks, months or years.
There's a season in your business where things will be unbalanced in the short-term to create more than enough balance in the long-run. (Tara Wagner) Share on XAgain, the key here is that everyone’s needs are being met.
Even in those moments. Tune into those needs, tune into strategies to meet those needs and everybody’s still going to feel good, even if things are a little bit crazy right now.
Focusing on a work life harmony allows for a natural ebb and flow in your life and in your business.
However, if you’re zooming out and you’re still not feeling or seeing that sense of harmony, that means that needs are not being met.
Go back to needs. What are you needing? What are some ways that you can meet those needs, maybe in less time or more creative ways, to allow everybody to feel harmonious once again?
Okay, we’ve talked about the theory of work life balance, and we’ve talked about what it is, what it looks like, and what you should be shooting for instead.
All of this is just theory.
Mindset and concept, those things are really important, but I also want to talk to you about strategies.
Read this post on work-life balance strategies for female entrepreneurs, where I introduce you to the strategies to help you to really rock this out, find some more time for the things that are important for you, make sure that you’re meeting everybody’s needs, and not trying to do it all yourself. Capiche?
WHAT IS WORK LIFE BALANCE WITHOUT SELF-CARE?
I have a tree training called Self-Care in Seconds.
Because I know you and I know the first thing to be put on the back burner when you feel like you don’t have time, are your own needs.
This training is not only going to walk you through some mindset shifts like we did today, but I’ll also show you the specific strategies that I’ve taught to hundreds of women who struggle to create self-care habits, and these work like a freaking charm.
It also includes a guide that literally covers dozens of self-care ideas, many of which you can do in 30 seconds, to just help you to reset or refresh yourself when you’re feeling stressed AF.
Click the image below to grab it for free right now (or learn more here) and start making time for you for a change.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, BOSS LADY?
Let me know where you struggle with this work life balance topic OR where you rock at it.
Also, why do you think men aren’t talking about this? What’s your theory?
Scroll down to leave your comments!
